It’s the feeling that overcomes me when I’m about to press the “Share” button — an action that will put my creative piece out there for the world to see. It’ll never be good enough. You’re not even qualified to talk about this. No one will like it. You won’t get any reactions or comments. It’s the feeling that plagues progress and causes me to cast doubt on whether I’m headed in the right path to begin with. 

The feeling? Insecurity — one of our biggest (and self-created) enemies. 

I was reminded of this enemy during my English class a while ago. We were assigned a piece titled “The Love Story of Alfred J. Prufrock,” a modernist poem written by T.S. Eliot. This piece resonated with me, and I wanted to break it down and give some analysis, as reading it allowed me to become much more aware about the natures of insecurity. And if you’re interested in reading and interpreting the piece, you can find it here!

The first italicized stanza is written in Italian; while I don’t know what it exactly translates to, I do know that generally, it conveys the feeling of feeling trapped. I feel this is a great way to sum up what insecurity really is. It’s a cycle of thinking that pulls us in, allowing us to keep on going down a rabbit hole. 

As I read this poem, I saw how Prufock went through this rabbit hole, digging himself deeper and deeper… 

Externally, Prufrock seems like he’s an elite man, sitting at the upper echelons of society (J. Alfred Prufock sounds quite pretentious, doesn’t it?). Yet, the first page of the poem contradicts this entirely, as it characterizes Prufrock as a lonely, aging man, which initially helps readers feel sympathy towards him. The fact that the women in the room “come and go” and talk of “Michaelangelo” show that the women are not talking to Prufrock. He is isolated and lacks meaningful connection. Furthermore, he is “restless.” This, coupled with the “soft October night,” hints towards how Prufrock is getting older; time is running out. This is an internal battle Prufrock is facing; externally, no one is able to discern his struggles. 

Insecurity is a battle often fought alone. In a society where sharing our accomplishments and achievements is encouraged, we don’t talk about our inadequacies. No one would possibly celebrate that. Yet, talking about our insecurities is perhaps the only way to confront and overcome them. 

In the poem, readers learn about Prufrock’s insecurities, which not only provide context for his loneliness, but also takes away the initial sympathy that readers felt for him. We learn about Prufrock’s “indecisions” and his “visions and revisions” (a line that resonated with me in particular)! He is an overthinker, and this prevents him from doing anything. This behavior explains why he is restless, and how he is not able to achieve relationships (his particular goal in this poem) or progress throughout life. The idea that Prufrock has to continuously fix his visions prevents any of his ideas from coming into fruition and shows an extreme lack of confidence. Yet, I feel that many of us have been in Prufrock’s position before. I talk about it in this monologue, but building the confidence to share my writing online has definitely been a hindering factor (and remains a problem till this day). 

Prufrock took the easy way out of confronting his insecurities, and this made him an unlikable character. He chose denial: he convinces himself that “there will be time,” and this becomes an obsession. He wonders, “Do I dare?,” pondering the reactions of others rather than what he wants out of himself. Prufrock is in a vicious cycle; he believes that there is a time to improve, but psyches himself out from doing so each time. Thus, when the Michelangelo phrase is repeated again, readers place the blame on Prufrock. He never put himself out there to begin with, so why would others pay attention to him?

It’s ironic how insecurity can be juxtaposed with arrogance. This is seen with Prufrock, who is so sure about how others perceive him – showing how he is unwilling to consider a different viewpoint. He thinks that others will see the “bald spot” in his hair; because he is so sure that others will view him in a negative light, he becomes complacent and unable to act. He feels like a spectacle, with eyes fixed on him in a “formulated phrase.” Prufrock’s insecurities are visible to no one; he judges himself, and develops a preconceived notion about the world based upon that – leading him to feel excluded and afraid. 

As a result, Prufrock is trapped in his own arrogance – which translates to him being trapped in a physical routine. The fact that he “measured out his life with coffee spoons” shows how he is stuck performing the same mundane tasks everyday. He is the epitome of the saying: “Doing the same thing and expecting the same result is the definition of insanity.” Prufrock wants his circumstances to change, but doesn’t do anything to change them. 

Prufrock’s fear (and therefore, his insecurities) is best encapsulated in the fact that he is scared of rejection. He believes that even if he comes back from “the dead” as “Lazarus” he will be rejected by the person he is talking to (for context, Prufrock is trying to express his romantic feelings toward this person – hence the “love song”). In fact, He imagines the rejection unfolding with dialogue from the person he is talking to: “That is not what I meant at all.” 

Prufrock uses all this as a justification for not trying. Yet, the only way to fail is to try, and failure is necessary for improvement. Notably, Prufrock rejects himself; he claims that he was not “meant to be… Prince Hamlet,” accepting that he is incapable of reaching great heights. 

Reading this poem in my English class was an enlightening experience: it made my own insecurities feel real. Sure, I already knew that they existed and was working to overcome them (mainly by pushing the fears of failure and disapproval out of my mind), but being able to talk about them and relate to the poem… was a whole other story. It felt peaceful. 

Parts of Prufrock and his “story” lives in me; and I’m sure the same applies to a lot of people. I think the only way to actually tackle our insecurities is to acknowledge and talk about them. By creating a platform to collectively share our doubts and fears, we can uplift each other instead of bottling negative feelings inside – so that we don’t become like Prufrock.